Making the frandships

Okay, so you don’t know me. We have no common friends. And you’ve sent me a ‘Let’s make Frandship’ request on Facebook. How did you even find me? Do you sit and snoop through everyone’s friend list and send the same message to all your chosen virtual-victims? And since, the friend request wasn’t enough, you have been kind enough to follow it up with a heart-warming message - “Hi miss, nice pro pic, want to make bad frandship plz?” ‘Bad Frandship’? What is that? and “I would like to make alliance with you.” ‘Alliance’? What am I, China?

Scratch that! Please oh please tell me, other women don’t actually respond to this once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity of having you on their friend list. Actually let it be, I’d rather not know. “Ignorance is bliss” they say, must be a good reason behind it.

You, of course find my name, picture and whatever you can make out from my profile picture – beautiful and sexy. No, sorry, ‘Butiful’ and ‘saxy’. But what is most amazing is that ignoring you once is not enough! You’re all about persistence, aren’t you?

I mean I’m all for flattery. But hey! You really expect me to respond to ‘Hi Sex’? Yes, you read it right. A ‘Hi Sex’ is what my friend Saranshi* found in her Inbox one day. But the saving grace as she puts it is “well, at least he jumped right to the point.”

Which fortunately/unfortunately (can’t make-up my mind on this yet) isn’t the case usually! Say, in my girls' Samira*, Praneeta*, Pooja* and *Seema’s case, who were messaged –

•   “hi .... can v talk..?or u can say wanna shake hand wid u.. : )”  

•  " hey hi how u doing ?? guess ur kinda responsible fr global warming :)"

• “d u take special suppliments to look so sweet”

•  “Will you be plz the making a very new and guds friends with me. Myself ABC and is doing the engineering diploma"

Samira* and I (like several other girls on FB) have also had the good fortune of getting the same message, exactly ctrl c-ed + ctrl v-ed into our inboxes –

“hie..beauty...!
i wud hav said u luk amazing..but tht wud of course b an understatement..thts y i m reluctant to use dese words...!
cuz no words r better than d beauty...itself...which in ur case is quite obvius..!
wonderin wht happenin???...thts is bad boy...wid best possible behaviour.....!”

Hmm. So tempting, no?

And there are those who think writing a long mail, with the help of the friendly thesaurus will make us fall head-over-heels-hit-my-head-get-brain-hemorrhage in love with them.

Beautifully penned down to Anita*, Kavita* and Saranshi*, yet again.

Note: These are long folks, but totally worth it!


a) Hello,
I must say it to you, you look very exquisite. All will be inclined to have a friend like you. Sorry I have said the above stuff without taking your approbation. I shuld ask for apologies. I told what I perceived an...d with full Candour I want to ask that, "Will you be my friend on facebook?" Feel free and there is every right with you not to give me response. Do take very good care.  

(Awww, you had me at hello!)

b)  Ahhhh I know one more guy mesaging you to b frnds(...lol..aint u thinking the same rt nw) and u must b wondering hw idle the guys are who keeps bugging you..after seeing ur profile/pic( ur pic is no less thn a model photo shoot...at first s...ight....i thought....its nt ur real pic...sometimes...too much of beauty hits hard on eyes )..
hmmm...So...is there is secret formula to catch ur atention and get a reply frm u ? i sersly hv no clue..hw i hv landed up on ur profile.and i wont lie...abt hw intresting ur profile is...........ur
beautiufl pic caught my eye...and i m still admiring it frm d corner of my eye while typing hehe...I guess i will b doing exact same thing..wht all others been doin after messaging u.... i.e WAIT........lol... hopefuly..i wil c u in my mail box as well...  

(WAIT!? Yeah, don’t hold your breath!)

And  (drum roll....) 

c) Hi! How are you?
I was just browsing some profile and this is how i found your profile though it is restricted for strangers like me but i found you really beautiful and attractive Specially your ey...es and your smile.

I wish if i get an opportunity to be your friend on this Virtual World
I would appreciate your Positive or Negative response.


I apologize if you find this message as an offensive message.

Regards

(Positive or Negative response? Hmm, guess guess? SHOCKER!)

So, girls you’re saying, you don’t enjoy the attention or it doesn’t flatter you to see these gems bejeweled in your inbox? I mean why have you saved them till now? (Eyebrow raised)

Sure! It certainly makes us smile on a lousy day. It sort of reminds me of the first guy who asked me out asking ‘Can v frnds?’ (No prizes for guessing what my reaction to that was.)

I mean, it feels great to be noticed, complimented. But ‘Hi Sex’-variety wooing really doesn’t work…well, I hope not.